The Inevitable
by Turin resurrected
Summary: Kantarou's heart was about to give up, and he prepares himself to free Haruka and Youko. His last few days, and what his inevitable decision is.


_Disclaimer:_

_ALL CHARACTERS ARE FROM THE TACTICS ANIME AND MANGA_

**The Inevitable**

**By Turin Resurrected**

**I_. The Hour Runs_**

_My life was destined from the very beginning to be brief. My Great Grandfather had died at the age of 30. My Grandfather, at 28. My Father, at 22. _

_I'm 25 now. Well past my prime._

_In the beginning, I didn't believe that I'd also die young. But lately I've woken up with this sharp pain radiating through my chest. There's no demon anywhere about._

_No, no, don't get me wrong. Really, I'm not afraid of dying. _

_It's being alone when that happens that's hard._

"Sugino-sama! Sugino-sama! I know you're there, come out!" I shouted. To normal sight, the tree house swayed precariously in the wind. But in reality, it was buttressed magically against Sugino's wings' mighty updrafts. An angelic being, with majestic snowy wings glided towards me angrily.

"Kantarou! What the hell are you doing? Don't you know it's barely sunrise yet? You're messing up Moo-chan's rest!"

A tiny blue green bundle stirred dreamily in the folds of his yukata. Looking more like a doll than anything, she was Moo's wife/ husband. It was asexual really, so it really didn't matter.

"Gomennasai, Sugino-sama. I was hoping to talk with you privately, if you don't mind."

Quizically, the angel angled his head. But when he figured that I was serious, he sighed melodramatically and carried me up his house.

A table, 3 chairs and two rice bowls were Sugino's only possessions. Spirits didn't need much. And as far as I know, they didn't need to eat that often.

"What's this… _business_ that you had to barge in this early, then?"

"I'm freeing Haruka. And Youko."

For the second time today, Sugino was speechless. His eyes bored at me, looking for the truth behind my words.

"Do they know?"

"No, I don't plan on telling them. They won't remember anything anyway."

Sugino covered his lips as he looked at the window, towards the direction of sunrise. His long eyelashes covered his eyes.

"Why… do you tell me this?"

"Sugino-sama… I want to offer a proposition."

_**II. To My Friends**_

_I think of life as a journey. So one shouldn't really be sad when you get off a station and say goodbye to your friends… you just arrived at your destination. Don't expect the train to stop forever when you get off. _

_Bugger._

I tried to act as normally as I could. No sense giving them an inkling of what I planned to do. So Youko prepared breakfast, as usual – tea, rice and dried fish. I pleaded with Haruka to go down the roof before it rained and he catches a cold (he knew I was bluffing). After breakfast, Haruka once again went off on his own.

"Youko-chan, can I ask you a hypothetical question?" I asked as she did the dishes, and we were all alone.

"Mm?"

"What would you do if you were just a youko?"

"Oh well, y'know… the usual. I'll catnap half the day, chase some field mice or some other rodent, play games with – I don't know… some country bumpkin…"

"You'd have a nice time?"

"Sure! It's fun being a youko. No problems, no worries…"

I smiled.

**_II... and Loved One_**

I dunked my head in cold water.

I didn't want to feel anymore.

My heart, my head were near to bursting. It hurt.

My conviction wavered as my strength waned. Maybe I didn't have to yet. Maybe I could bargain for a little more time. A little more….

Then the pain again. In waves, leaving me breathless. I wuold've really drowned if I hadn't fell unconscious to the floor. It was evening when I awoke. My body was shivering but my yukata had dried already. I must've been out a long time.

"KAntarou..?" Haruka's voice echoed down the hall. He must've just arrived. I gathered my strength for what I had to do.

"Oi, Kantarou…! I was calling you, why didn't you answer right away?"

"I fell asleep, the water was nice."

"You…," annoyance crept into his voice. "And how many times have you lectured me about long baths? You should take care of yourself more. Where's Youko? She should prepare your clothes."

"Yes… I'd call her…"

Haruka's nose crinkled as he smelled blood. Even though it was dark in the bath room, Haruka's eyes traveled to my hands were the wild youko's teeth had scored. He was about to ask, but I couldn't bear it. I doubt I could lie convincingly if he asked. I moved first.

I caught him in my arms. Dangerous, I knew. Especially if he lost himself during the first few moments.

Softly, I whispered. "Haruka, what would you do…"

_**III. I Leave Nothing But Memories**_

I was inconsolable for days. Sugino-sama, bless him… was true to his promise. When again I called to him, he took me in without a word. My bed was already made. My food prepared. Moo-chan took care of me as good as Youko would have. Sugino sama distributed my few possessions to the poor.

Some days were painful. Sleep was my only respite. And even sleep could be treacherous when nightmares visited me. Sugino-san displayed uncharacteristic patience when I ranted and glowered. Bless him.

Monsters came and visited me. Monsters I haven't seen since childhood. Pure spirits didn't, though. They only came at the hour of death. I hope Suzu-chan would be there.

One night, when I was half drugged out of my mind, I felt a heaviness on top of me. I thought it was Moo-chan, but it was a red ball of softness sleeping on my chest.

I smiled.

She's plumping up, and her fur was as soft as ever. She purred contentedly.

I slept more peacefully that night.

**_III. Hold Carefully the Dream_**

One day, I saw Suzu-chan smiling at me. I waited and waited for death to overcome me but I waited in vain. A heavenly numbness came over me, washing out the pain. Maybe this was her gift to me.

Sugino-sama brushed my hair, massaged my chest, tried to make me as comfortable as possible. Moo-chan seldom left my side anymore.

And he came.

His wings blocked out the sunlight, plunging us in darkness. His eyes glowed like red embers.

I felt Sugino-sama's hands shiver as he instinctively recoiled in fear.

As well, he should.

He could kill all of us with a swipe of his claws with nary a sweat.

But I'm not afraid. A few hours in advance wouldn't make a difference to me anyway. I just hope that he wouldn't hurt Sugino-sama and Moo chan.

"Human..." he glowered. His voice, raspy from disuse. His hair was tangled and his once immaculate coat was torn in many places. He looked like a cat after a fight.

"Kantarou--!" Moo-chan, of course, was blocking Haruka's way with his body. I could see that Sugino-sama was torn. In protecting me or saving Moo-chan. That was a choice I never wanted Sugino-sama to make.

"Leave me now Sugino-sama. You've done your part of the bargain…" I tried to get up, clasping my prayer beads, more out of habit than a desire to fight. "My powers would be yours when I die."

"STUPID MORTAL! I didn't do this for that!" He screamed at me. Then he grabbed his husband/ wife and escaped through the roof. The tree house shook, his magic deserting it.

"What did you do to me, human?" Haruka, no, Onikui Tengu whispered. His attention on me alone. In my mind's eye, I remembered the first time he asked me that. I believe it was more out of pleasant surprise for that night…

His hand clutched my throat. So fast, I didn't even see him move. I could feel his nails breaking into skin. My vision darkened, and my heart threatened to run out of my chest as it pumped desperately for air.

Then he let go.

Then he placed his head on my chest as his hands grabbed my arms.

He was shaking. And afraid. And confused. And angry.

My dark angel…

"I remember… you… imprisoned me… then freed me… glimpses, all glimpses… I couldn't understand…"

He looked at me imploringly.

"Who am I… Kantarou?"

He looked so lost. This was what I wanted to avoid. When I took back his name that night. He had always said that humans and oni couldn't be together. And this was the reason. The inevitable.

"I suffer, Kantarou…"

Oniis were made to live forever in this world. While humans, to live forever on another. Meeting but briefly, on this journey…

I stopped myself from saying his name, although that was what I wanted to say. "Onikui… forgive me. In my selfishness, I did the greatest evil to you. You are feeling only the aftermath of a spell that I have already broken. In a few more years, you will totally be free, and you will be as you once were."

To my surprise, he pushed me to the bed. This was it. But the sharp talons didn't come… Only his ragged crying on my chest.

His voice was Haruka's when he spoke.

"But…I don't like to be free."

**_Epilogue_**

_I got off at the Station on the year 1920. Suzu-chan was already there, waiting for me._

"_Are you ready now, Kantarou?" she asked._

"_I thought I wouldn't be. But strangely, I am." __I took her hand as I looked back at Haruka. Thank you for the journey, I whispered. _

_**Owari**_

_Author's Notes:_

_The wind blows ever so softly,_

_Not a rustle on the leaves far beyond._

_If there were such a thing as eternity,_

_Then it is now._

_For peace, silence so strange, envelops me like a shawl._

_Midnight sings her melodies,_

_To me, only me._

_Memories are always so fleeting._

_A moment outside inside of time._

_And I, like a lover taking a stolen kiss._

_-- Turin resurrected, Dec. 2, 2006 _


End file.
